Larry the Loser Gets Beaten Up by Pipsqueak Fish Boy Strikes Again

Dorsum

The Krabby Kronicle

Typed By: ssj4gogita4

(at Krusty Krab kitchen)
SpongeBob: Social club up! (Plays ding 3 times)
Mr. Krabs: How'southward it looking out at that place, boy?
SpongeBob: Like ii more satisfied regulars, Mr. K.
Mr. Krabs: I ain't interested in same one-time regulars, SpongeBob! And then I took out an ad in the Bikini Bottom Examinor to bring in some new customers! Twas a bargain too. (SpongeBob uses a magnifying glass to read the print) Simply cost me a nickel. So tell me now, boy. How many new customers we got out there so far?
SpongeBob: Ooh, let me run across. There was...None.
Mr. Krabs: What?! What do you mean none? Don't these people read the paper? (walks outside and blows a lot of dust off the newspaper stand) Ooh, this thing hasn't been touched in months. (notices another stand where there is a long line for it) Well that paper's selling like Krabby Patties. Uh, pardon me, sir. Could I interest you lot in a re-create of the Examiner, this fine day?
Fish #i: Ha! Nobody reads the Examiner, bud. It's all total of boring charts and facts. The Bottomfeeder's where it'south at. It'due south got like interesting stories and stuff.
Mr. Krabs: 'Fishboy Strikes Once again'? Wait a minute, aren't these stories a piddling less than true?
Fish #1: I don't know. But they're selling!
Mr. Krabs: Yep, they certainly are. (Lady puts in coin to get a newspaper) Delight, allow me.
Fish #2: Thanks!
Mr. Krabs: No, thank you. At present, allow's run across how much they charge for advertising. (screams) 25 cents per word! The paper business sure is easy money! (Mr. Krab'south crush cracks revealing a money body underneath) That gives me an idea. (trunk of money breaks. Cutting to Krusty Krab)
SpongeBob: What a fantabulastical day! Eh, Squiddy?
Squidward: Yep, what another wonderful humdrum day slinging burgers. (SpongeBob walks into the kitchen only hits his face on something.)
Mr. Krabs: Off of your duff, male child. You think I spent all last night assembling this printing press, then you lot could laze around all day? From now on yous'll be twice as decorated. And I look you to wear two hats cause along with your usual fry cooking duties, y'all're my new pb reporter for the new Krabby Kronicle! (a carte with SpongeBob's picture is pinned on him)
SpongeBob: Oh, my very own press bluecoat!
Mr. Krabs: That'due south right boy! And here'southward your very own camera. So you'll need it to certificate all them juicy stories yous're gonna write. Now what are you waiting for, boy? (cut to SpongeBob walking downwards the streets of Bikini Lesser)
SpongeBob: They all have the thirst for a juicy story, eh? Hmm, only what kind of story is juicy enough to quench their dry news gullets? I don't even know where to brainstorm to look. (a banking company robbery, two giant fish trashing a boat, and a infant monster is happening in front of him) No news to written report here. Stop the presses! It'southward Patrick! And he appears to be waiting for the bus! This is the kind of breaking story my readers are waiting for. (takes a pic of Patrick) Patrick Star, I'm Scoop SquarePants from the Krabby Kronicle. Everyone's wondering, what passenger vehicle are you taking today?
Patrick: Oh, I'm not taking a bus SpongeBob. I am watching this pole so the next time information technology moves, I volition see it!
SpongeBob: Whoa, this story is juicy! (cut to the Krusty Krab where it is now called "The Krabby Kronicle." SpongeBob is typing upwardly the story and puts information technology in the press press. Cut to Mr. Krabs walking into the Krusty Krab)
Mr. Krabs: What a money-tastical twenty-four hour period! Eh, Mr. Squidward?
Squidward: Yeah, I'thou just breaking it in.
Mr. Krabs: I'm excited about all the newspaper sales, too.
Squidward: We haven't sold any papers today.
Mr. Krabs: What do you mean we haven't sold any newspapers? Certainly this gentlemen would like a copy of the Krabby Kronicle.
Fish #3: Looks irksome. Can I just have a Krabby Patty?
Mr. Krabs: Too boring? (looks at paper) SpongeBob?! What's the meaning of this?
SpongeBob: Meaning of what, Mr. Krabs?
Mr. Krabs: Local resident watches pole? No i's gonna pay to read this malarky. When you write these stories, yous've gotta utilise a little imagination, boy.
SpongeBob: Imagination...
Mr. Krabs: Aye. Maybe instead of human watches pole, y'all could say something like, oh, man marries pole. Then you can alter the photo a little to fit the headline and, come across? (Mr. Krabs drew marriage attire on Patrick and pole picture) At present that'south a juicy story!
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, isn't that lying?
Mr. Krabs: Don't think of it as lying, boy. Think of it as... uh... a practical joke. You know. Something everybody can have a expert express joy about. The public expects a little embellishment hither and there, and so I want you to go out there, and go me a lead story that'll sell! (cuts to an intersection, and SpongeBob is hiding behind a trash can. Mrs. Puff pulls upwards, and so a policeman pulls up backside hither. SpongeBob takes a picture, and both of them await around)
SpongeBob: (laughs) Mrs. Puff is going to laugh her hat off when she reads this! (cuts to a newspaper that says "Boating Teacher in High Speed Chase")
Mr. Krabs: Boating Teacher in Loftier Speed Chase! I recollect y'all finally washed it, boy! Yous've given me a story that'll sell! And sell information technology has! (everyone has a copy of the paper, and Squidward hands Harold a copy)
SpongeBob: Aye, but that isn't the story I wrote.
Mr. Krabs: That's called editorial privilege, son. It gives you that extra oomph to move units. Besides, how could such a little news story, possibly affect Mrs. Puff in whatever fashion? (cuts to Mrs. Puff'south Canoeing School)
Mrs. Puff: I can't believe such a fiddling news story could have ruin my business organisation! (cuts to SpongeBob hiding in a chimney)
SpongeBob: Allow'south see what there is to meet. Expect a minute. Larry the Lobster. Hmm, wonder what kind of clay he has under those muscles. (goes in the chimney, then hides behind a dumpster) Uh-huh, this looks shady, very shady. (Larry walks up to a fish in an overcoat)
Fish #four: Larry, hey, tough guy? Tin can I punch you in the gut?
Larry: Sure. Everbody does. It won't hurt me a bit. (fish punches him and SpongeBob takes a picture) Told you lot it wouldn't hurt.
Fish #4: Thanks large guy.
Larry: Run into ya around.
SpongeBob: Very interesting. (cut to a gym)
Gym Owner: Out! Out! Out!
Larry: Hey, what's the big thought?
Gym Possessor: This! (shows him newspaper)
Larry: 'Larry the Loser gets Browbeaten up by Pipsqueak'? Just, but, only...
Gym Owner: No buts! I tin can't accept a wimp like yous destroying my gym's reputation! You're banned forever. (throws him out equally SpongeBob walks up to him)
SpongeBob: Hello, Larry.
Larry: Not now, SpongeBob. Let me take in the fact that my life is ruined.
SpongeBob: Ruined? What are you talking about?
Larry: These lies someone wrote near me. (shows him the headline about him. SpongeBob gasps. Cut to Krusty Krab)
Mr. Krabs: Thank you for your business, and hither's your paper.
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, tin I have a discussion with you lot?
Mr. Krabs: Make it quick boy. These papers are selling faster then nosotros can print 'em!
SpongeBob: That's exactly what I wanted to talk to you nearly, sir. I don't think these stories are doing anyone whatsoever practiced.
Mr. Krabs: Well, they're certainly doing me some good. (goes into his office where in that location is coin everywhere) Can you believe information technology? Look at all this loot! (lays on a pile of money)
SpongeBob: Aye, merely isn't there a mode nosotros could write juicy stories without hurting people?
Mr. Krabs: Ah, y'all simply don't go information technology, exercise you boy? We're non hurting anyone. We're just making their lives interesting, for everybody else. Now get out there, and fetch another story! (cuts to the Chum Saucepan, and Plankton walks out of the kitchen with a Chum Stick)
Plankton: Oh Karen, I recollect this is information technology! The Chum Stick that'due south finally gonna drive Krabs out of business.
Health Inspector: I recall not. I'yard Health Inspector Yellowtail. I'm officially closing downwardly your eating place.
Plankton: Why? I haven't done anything.
Wellness Inspector: That'due south not what this says. (shows him newspaper headline)
Plankton: 'Plankton's Chum made of your chums'? 'The Chum Bucket serves your friends in more than ways then ane'? What? (the wellness inspector padlocks the Chum Bucket doors) Who's to blame for this? Who?! (SpongeBob walks abroad sad. Cutting to Krusty Krab)
Mr. Krabs: You're reaching new levels of imagination, boyo!
SpongeBob: Yeah I-I know.
Mr. Krabs: What's wrong boy? You sick or something?
SpongeBob: Yep, Mr. Krabs, you could say that.
Mr. Krabs: Don't exist silly, male child. Nosotros're a success.
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, we're hurting people.
Mr. Krabs: Oh, baloney. You better start feeling correct, cause if you don't, you can just buss your spatular cheerio.
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, you wouldn't!
Mr. Krabs: Oh, darn tootin' I would! Now become out at that place and bring me a juicy i.
SpongeBob: Aye-yeah, captain. (cuts to Sandy taking an acorn off her tree when two fish come out of her tree and carrying a box of Sandy's things)
Sandy: Distressing, fellers, this is a individual treedome.
Fish #5: I had no idea it talked. Don't worry, we're from the Neptunian Science Committee, and nosotros've come up to confiscate all your science awards. Haven't yous read today's headlines? (holds up newspaper)
Fish #six: Information technology can't even read. Why are nosotros...
Sandy: Oh, give me that! 'Sandy Cheeks or Sandy Chump'? 'Bushy tailed brainiac really a tedious-witted squirrel. Past SpongeBob SquarePants'? That yellowish sidewinder thinks he can practice that to me?!
Fish #5: Oh boy, we improve scram! The dumb ones are always the about violent. (ii fish run away equally Sandy growls. Cutting to Krusty Krab with an even bigger line out the door)
Mr. Krabs: (laughs) Y'all've really outdone yourself this time! (his eyes shoot out water which SpongeBob absorbs. Mr. Krabs grabs SpongeBob, spraying the water out, and sits him on his lap)
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, I can't write these stories anymore.
Mr. Krabs: Come on, that'southward a agglomeration of hooey.
SpongeBob: I've seen people's lives ruined with my own eyes.
Mr. Krabs: People desire wild juicy stories. That'south what sells. Now I want your little yellow noggin, to come up with the wildest story e'er. 1 that'll elevation all the others.
SpongeBob: Gee, Mr. Krabs, I've written most everybody in town. Whatever ideas, sir?
Mr. Krabs: Surprise me. Requite me a shocker. (tosses him in a chair with a typewriter) Good nighttime boy. I'll check on you tomorrow morning time. And remember, the wildest story ever! (exits)
SpongeBob: Oh, the wildest story ever, huh? (starts typing. Cutting to next forenoon)
Mr. Krabs: How's it going, lad? (SpongeBob turns around and has a 5 o'clock shadow and reddish optics)
SpongeBob: Uh-uh-uh, it'due south a surprise.
Mr. Krabs: First-class! We're gonna sell out in no fourth dimension. We'll have to do another printing. (there is an angry mob exterior the kitchen with pitchforks and torches) Huh?
Fish #7: Task principal!
Mr. Krabs: What'southward going on?
Fish #7: You should know! (shows him the headlines)
Mr. Krabs: 'Krabs overworks employees'? 'Reaps advantage'? 'Krabby Kronicle mastermind behind bogus stories pays his tired, under-historic period reporter pennies while he rakes in the dough'?!
Fish #7: How could you do that to such an innocent child?! That is sick and inhumane!
Sandy: Not to mention, the fact that he's written lies about us.
Plankton: I lost my eatery because of yous! And I idea I was evil.
Larry: All the kids in town want to beat me up for lunch money. (cries)
Mrs. Puff: And I've had to go dorsum to watching daytime television! (sobs)
Fish #7: Oh that's it! Nosotros're taking our coin back! (everyone runs in and runs back out with a bag of money)
Mr. Krabs: No! (yells and cries)
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, are yous okay?
Mr. Krabs: How can I be okay when me money's gone?! All gone! (cries then sighs) It just goes to show, trying to brand an easy buck doesn't pay. (notices the printing press) Or does it? (puts his dollar in the printing press and it prints pages of money) Become me some pair of scissors, boyo! It's fourth dimension to use my imagination!
Patrick: Hey, guys. Could you fix me and the wife upward a couple of Krabby Patties? (his wife is the pole he was watching before)
Finish

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Source: https://www.sbmania.net/spongebob-transcripts-243-The-Krabby-Kronicle